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Sent from my Fido Phone
May 19, 2009
May 18, 2009
Enough Killing Time
My life is always too focused on a "him".
I once asked vegan-control-freak which seat he preferred on the subway. He admitted he liked to sit next to me with the wall on my other side, so that no one else could sit next to me. This didn't sound bad at the time. I wonder if I liked the possessiveness. I wonder if I felt safe and protected in the bubble of being "his". I've always had this stupid desire to have someone take care of me; make it all better. I need to stand on my own two feet. I need to take care of myself, be capable of independence.
From now on every day has to be about school. Everything else is secondary.
I once asked vegan-control-freak which seat he preferred on the subway. He admitted he liked to sit next to me with the wall on my other side, so that no one else could sit next to me. This didn't sound bad at the time. I wonder if I liked the possessiveness. I wonder if I felt safe and protected in the bubble of being "his". I've always had this stupid desire to have someone take care of me; make it all better. I need to stand on my own two feet. I need to take care of myself, be capable of independence.
From now on every day has to be about school. Everything else is secondary.
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