Learning with ADHD

Partially because I've felt obligated and partially because I needed some kind of income, I have been tutoring a grade 9 student for the last couple months.

You would expect this to be relatively easy given for me that it is only grade 9 and I took all advanced high school math courses and even got 1/3 of the way through first year calculus with a 70. But it's been 3 years since I last attempted that calculus course, and 5 years since I successfully completely OAC math. AND the kid has ADHD. So it's been pretty stressful at times.

Also, in order to appear competent enough that be viewed as a respectable tutor, I have had to lie and say I am in school now even though I'm not. I've had to have so many conversations about what university in general is like and what my classes I am taking that at times I almost believe I've been in school this year, when I haven't!

Every time I have to go over there, I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I think he'll ask me a question and I won't be able to explain it. I think his mom will blame me for the fact that he's still failing. I think they will somehow find out that I am a fraud.

But almost every time I leave, I feel better. Sometimes we don't get as much done as we probably should, because he constantly starts talking about things that happened at school and asking what university is like and have I ever done any drugs and do I believe in God. (He's very talkative and curious about everything.) But I would rather be someone he feels comfortable talking to, who makes studying a bit less stressful, than a strict teacher who refuses to let him talk until his work is done. And I know that I am helping him. Some of the stuff is different curriculum than I took and I need to teach myself a little in order to help him, but the majority of the time I can just explain it to him and create practice questions on the spot.

The only thing that sucks is that he really has a hard time with it, so he is still not doing very well. I know that he gets it when we do questions together, but on tests he freezes up and becomes unsure about where to start and just guesses at the answer. I need to keep reminding myself that when he just can't get something, it is because he needs more time and needs to learn at a slower pace. Even if he fails the course, it doesn't mean that I am a failure.

At the same time, working with someone who really has a lot of trouble with the material has been a good challenge for me. It has made me think a lot more about different ways to explain the material. Hopefully it has taught me something about how to be a good teacher.