Mood

This week (starting last friday) for CBT I've been filling in a Worksheet to track my mood, specifically the severity of my "Depression" every hour of the day. 100 means totally depressed, 0 means happy. It's been a little annoying trying to keep track of it and sometimes I find it difficult to describe my mood with just a number, but it's been okay and sometimes pretty interesting to pay that much attention to how my mood shifts all day long.

Today I had my first 10. As I was leaving he said, "thank you... it's been a really nice weekend." It was Doors Open so we went to a bunch of touristy places around the city and just walked around. It was nice to walk around with a sense of direction instead of our usual wandering and having to figure out which direction to go next, although even that is really nice most of the time (until my legs feel like they are going to fall off :P).

It's funny how much knowing he was happy improved my mood. I was already feeling better since I'd been out with him instead of laying around at home doing nothing, but when he actually said something about it I couldn't help but smile. It makes me happy when I see him happy.

When it's just the two of us and we're not focusing on all the things we are struggling with it's just really nice. And even when we are talking about the things that are hard, we both get each other enough that talking about it with each other helps. I wish I could put the comfort of feeling truly understood into words.